Hz was rescued by a rock star!

A coupla weekends ago, Hz got to go with her friend Mary Ellyn and some other folks to Coachella, in California! She was super excited to see a bunch of great bands, and eat some quality dogs. She was very ambitious with the band-watching, but not with the dog-eating. She ended up eating tacos and potato chips most of the time, unfortch.

Mary Ellyn and Hz at Coachella. Keep movin', folks. No htdgs to see here!

Mary Ellyn and Hz at Coachella. Keep movin', folks. No htdgs to see here!

Anyway, the day after the festival, Hz went to the airport only to discover that she booked her return flight for a week later than she needed it. After finding out that changing to a different flight from Palm Springs would cost $950, she decided to book a flight from Los Angeles instead and try to hitchhike over there.

Hz found a ticket on the red eye for later that night that only cost $320, but still needed a lift to the Los Angeles airport, which California celebrities have nicknamed, “LAX”, and that is about a two-hour drive. Also, she didn’t know very many LA folks that were at Coachella, and certainly didn’t want to bother anyone. Luckily, she had been text-messaging that morning with a very important LA dude, whom we shall nickname, “HrMrSprstr.”

And wow, what a great guy! He arrived at the airport in his fly hoopty in, like, 60 minutes! And Hz hopped in, and off they went!

Westward, Ho!

Westward, Ho!

Hz had a long talk with her rescuer. Mostly this talk involved her explaining the wonders of hot dogs. How much fun they are to eat, how much fun they are when you take pictures of them, and especially how much fun it is when she and Ez write about them and their friends tell them that they are funny all the time. (How Ez and Hz are funny, not how hot dogs are funny. But hot dogs are funny, too.)

And HrMrSprstr was WAY into it! And Hz didn’t think he was just being polite, because he had a MILLION great ideas for future missions, such as handing them out for free at his shows. And also, he didn’t have to be polite anyway, because Hz was the one who should be kissing ass, since he was so nice and gave her a ride to LA.

So after they got to LA, do you know what Hz and HrMrSprstr did? Yes, you do! They went out for a hot dog! HrMrSprstr knew of a very famous hot dog place called Pinks, and he wanted to take her there! For a power lunch!

This Pink’s place was rather incredible. They had so many people in line for a hot dog, they had to put ropes out on the sidewalk for crowd control. But it didn’t matter how many ropes were there, it was gonna be real tough for Hz to control herself. For SURE!

Pink's was heaving with Pink's fnz!

Pink's was heaving with Pink's fnz!

As they wound through the ropes, Hz and HrMrSprstr were totally laughing at all of the funny signs for hot dogs you could buy.

The Ozzy Spicy Dog!

The Ozzy Spicy Dog!

America the Beautiful Dog!

America the Beautiful Dog!

Lord of the Rings Dog!

Lord of the Rings Dog!

Hz noticed that there was a hotdog with coleslaw on it, which sounded verrrrrry intriguing, so she totally got that. It was great! HrMrSprstr got something with loads of chili.

HrMrSprstr orders there!

HrMrSprstr orders there!

And we got chili on our fries.

And we got chili on our fries.

Hard at work!

Hard at work!

The wreckage

The wreckage

After Hz and HrMrSprstr ate, they wanted to die. But seriously, they had been partying in the hot sun at Coachella all weekend, so it might not have only been because they were so, soooo full. They might have just been sun-burnt and hung over. Or, yeah, they might have overeaten.

Full.

Full.

Sooo full.

Sooo full.

After this, HrMrSprstr took Hz to a nice bar called Malo, where they had some Tecate and talked with some friends. Then off to the LAX airport, so Hz could take the redeye home!

Safe and sound!

Lessons learned:

1.  When you’re buying a plane ticket always check the date on your computer for when you’re flying home, in case you might have picked the wrong day.

2.  If you DO buy a ticket for the wrong day, ask a rock star for help.

3.  If you buy a ticket for the wrong day, and a rock star is going to help you, go to Pink’s for a hot dog, but don’t eat so much you feel like dying.

4. Coleslaw on a hotdog tastes good.

THE

THE

END

END

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May 7, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Drunkenness, Getting Lost or stuck somewhere, Hot Dog Dining, HrMrSprstr, Music and Shows, Poverty. 2 comments.

Blogeth Beginneth

Hz and Ez eat Htdz.

Our first mission as the Hot Dog Doctors was so totally auspicious!

We were going to go to the Gopher Bar in Saint Paul, and we had to drive around a little bit, but then we found it and pulled the car over to the curb and Hz opened the door and there, frozen in the snowbank, was a LUCKY PENNY. And it was heads up, yo. We still have it and are going to frame it as our first income.

Lucky penny!

Lucky penny!

But sadly, the Gopher Bar was closed, and we’re not sure why. There were no hours posted, but it said on a sign that there were hot dogs in there DAILY. This is very worrying. We’ve checked online, and it seems like it’s still open for business, but this doesn’t seem like the kind of establishment that would maintain a very fastidious online presence, so who knows?

The goddamn Gopher Bar was closed.

The goddamn Gopher Bar was closed.

So after a serious freak out, we put our heads together and set out for another hot dog joint on our list: Chris and Rob’s in Saint Paul on West 7th.

Chris & Rob’s: Chicago’s Taste Authority

So: this place was totally cute. It’s made out of a railroad car! We died.

Chris and Rob's. Totally cute!

Chris and Rob's. Totally cute!

We ordered one Chicago-style apiece, and then Ez also got a Spicy Polish and Hz got a Chili dog, and we split some cheese fries and we both got beers too. Hz got Summit, and Ez got beer that was described as “like Summit, only from Chicago.” (or it might have been from Canada. We don’t remember. They’re almost the same anyway.)

One of the first things we discussed was how we know two people who have t-shirts that say, “Doctor Hot Dog” on it. We, as self-proclaimed hot dog doctors, find this totally premium. Our friend Deanna has one, and Dirty Preston has one. These t-shirts make us swoon with desire.

Ez is going like, "Yeah. Deanna has a Doctor Hot Dog t-shirt. For real."

Ez is going like, "Yeah. Deanna has a Dr Hot Dog t-shirt. For real."

If we find these Doctor Hot Dog t-shirts, we’re going to buy them for sure.

So that’s when the other totally auspicious thing happened: The song “I’m Burning for You” by Blue Öyster Cult came on the radio!

Now, the story behind our love for this song is that at the apex of our Valentine’s Day this year — and let me tell you that the hours leading up to this were chock-full of excitement and splendor, too — we were on a houseboat with our best friends Lz, Nz, Jz, Paul D and Johnnycakes, getting hammered on some absurdly alcoholic Icelandic booze, eating cookie cake, and playing “Burnin’ for You” over and over about 100 times, sometimes substituting all the lyrics with one of our names for the entire song. Eventually, we got in trouble with the neighbors, but it was incredibly fun. So hearing this song during our first mission felt like a very good omen.

Then the food came.

Ht Dz + Cz Frz

Ht Dz + Cz Frz

So then Hz told Ez about how she and Johnnycakes got locked into the stairwell of her house this weekend and Our Hero Troy had to come rescue them at 1 am: see, Hz grabbed the wrong set of keys on her way out, and pulled the door to her apartment shut and locked, but the door between the entryway and the outside needs a key, too. So Hz and Johnnycakes were stuck in the entryway of her house. Luckily there is an extra set of keys hidden in at Our Hero Troy’s house, so Hz called him. He was at First Avenue dancing with his hot girlfriend, but was happy to take a taxi from there to home, and from home to Hz’ home, and from Hz’ home back to First Avenue to spring them out.

This evoked fond memories about other times Our Hero Troy was a major hero. Like when we got hammered at his house, then he let us all sleep over, then he made us breakfast, then he gave Rupert a pair of sunglasses, then he rode bikes with everyone to make sure they got home okay. He’s a great guy to the max.

Then we started eating the sport peppers whole.

Hz eats a sport pepper

Hz eats a sport pepper

Ez eats a sport pepper

Ez eats a sport pepper

Talk then turned to Daylight Savings Time. Ez told Hz how when she was a waitress for ten years she was late for work every day (every single day!) except for once a year she would accidentally turn up a half-hour early for her shift when she forgot to set her clock back at the end of Daylight Savings time in the fall. When she’d arrive, one of the cooks would always say, “Even a dog gets lucky once a year!” Totally ouch.

Ez man-handles the Spicy Polish at Chris and Rob's

Ez has her way with a Spicy Polish at Chris and Rob's.

Hz manhandles a Chicago-Style at Chris and Rob's

Hz manhandles a Chicago-Style at Chris and Rob's

The whole time we were eating, Hz was blowing up on facebook. She has a sweet FB application on her phone, so she knows when she’s blowing up the second it happens, and it was happening a lot during the Chris and Rob’s mission. Hz’ friend Ali, who works for the Current, was particularly supportive and hilarious in regards to a pre-launch facebook announcement about the Hot Dog Blog, so Ez and Hz joked about scoring a Current sponsorship, which could possibly entail plastic signage that they could tape to the wall by their table during future missions.

They started to close up when we were leaving, which made us feel sort of badass.

Time for the HD Dz to GTFO.

Time for the HtDg MDz to GTFO.

Hot Dog Round Up: Chris & Rob’s in Saint Paul

Ez liked the Polish with everything on it better than the Chicago style, but said that they were both super good.

Hz liked the Chicago style slightly better than the Chili dog, but it was verrry close. The chili even had beans in it, and usually it doesn’t when it’s chili used on hot dogs, right?

Cheese fries: total yum. The cheese wasn’t the shredded and melted kind, but rather the kind that comes in a bag.

Beers: awes.

Atmosphere: charming and railroad car-ey

Service: great. the dudes who were working asked us if everything was okay about 100 times, and it always was.

Overall score: like, a million

Chris and Rob’s Chicago Taste Authority

Minneapolis:
(612) 729-5507
3101 E 42nd St
Minneapolis, MN 55406

Fridley:
(763) 571-0288
7429 East River Rd
Fridley, MN 55432

Saint Paul:
(651) 228-9347
603 West 7th Street
Saint Paul, MN 55402

Find us on Facebook! Totally premium!

Find us on Facebook! Totally premium!

March 10, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Getting Lost or stuck somewhere, Hot Dog Dining. 9 comments.