Too much, the Magic Bus!
A few of you who stalk us constantly on Facebook prolly already know this, but a couple of weeks ago, the Impossibly Handsome Al Weiers invited the Hot Dog Doctors to dine at the Magic Bus Cafe. And we were like, There is nothing about the words MAGIC, BUS, and CAFE that we don’t like. So we made a date.
Get in the car, you little Hellions!
We picked up The Impossibly Handsome Al Weiers, and were headed to the Midtown Market, because we thought that the Midtown Farmers Market and the Midtown Market were the same thing. They are not, so we went to the wrong place first, which is typical for the Hot Dog Doctors. We are very good dog-eaters, and we are very bad dog-finders.
This is not where it was.
But we finally figured it out by looking it up on the computer-phone and we got there a few minutes later. It turned out that we had driven right past it after picking up the Impossibly Handsome Al Weiers, but we were so excited talking about how the Midown Market used to be Sears that we didn’t notice. You heard us, we didn’t notice the huge purple school bus parked right next to the road. Don’t hate.
See? It's right there!
When we stepped up to the bus, it was like love at first sight!
Our hostesses, the Twin Hot Dog Hippy Fairies: Chrissy and Cathy
Chrissy and Cathy were there, and The Impossibly Handsome Al Weiers is already freinds with them, so we were treated like Hippy Hot Dog ROYALTY! At first we thought that this was because we are very famous hot dog journalists, but then they were super nice to everyone, so that’s when we figured out that they are just super, SUPER nice. That’s probably better for business, anyway. And we MIGHT still be famous. It’s just really hard to tell when you’re around nice people.1
We had such a hard time deciding what to eat for two reasons:
- There are so many good things to choose from
- The inside of the magic bus is very distracting, with lot’s of colorful stickers.2
some stickers!
More stickers! (they were really everywhere.)
Stickers above the mirror!
What used to be 50 cents? We don't know!
Even the menus were totally cute.
It was really hard to decide, but our friend Jenn recommended the Soulshine Dog which had sauerkraut, bacon and brown mustard. So we knew we had to get that FOR SURE.
We also got a Grateful Dog, because we were in a hippy bus, and it seemed appropriately reverent of the late Gerry Garcia (SUPER HIPPY!). The Grateful Dog has totally yummy mango relish on it.
Our third choice of dog was a Mexicali dog, which has spicy relish with sliced jalapeno in it and some shredded cojack cheese. We also kind of wanted to try the chili dog, but we eat chili dogs all the time. I know. Poor us: work, work, work!
Here they are! We cut them in half and traded, so we made Frankenstein monster dogs.
Ez' frankenstein dog: half Mexicali Dog / half Soulshine Dog
Hz had half of a Grateful Dog and half a Soulshine Dog
The Impossibly Handsome Al Weiers had half of a Mexicali Dog and half of a Grateful Dog
First bite!
Pretty soon, we heard a sweet Steely Dan tune come on! This bus was outta sight! Hz used to get in trouble from her old roommate when she’d play Steely Dan. Boo!
Did you know that you can put yeast on food? We didn’t. Chrissy told us to, and we put nutritious yeast on our hot dogs and it tasted great. Hippies do the weirdest things, but then it always turns out cool. Like hootenannies, eating peyote buttons and being naked.
Sure, we'd love some nutritional yeast!
Then Chrissy and Cathy gave us some popcorn! They make it out of white popcorn and yellow popcorn mixed together. They’re all like, “Hey man, what’s the hassle? You don’t have to separate the white corn from the yellow corn! Can’t we all just live in harmony?” And the answer is yes. Delicious, nutritious harmony.
delicious popcorn.
Hz kind of made a mess.
Close up of salsa-smear.
This is what Hz does when she wants to bug the shit out of Ez.
After we ate, we got to run around and play on the bus. When you’re a serious journalist, people let you do whatever you want.
Hz got a nose smear on the window, and they didn't get mad.
Climb aboard!
The Impossibly Handsome Al Weiers and Hz give it to 'em in the order-hole.
Hi. Ez is totally inconspicuous.
After eating, the Hot Dog Doctors and The Impossibly Handsome Al Weiers had a wander around the Farmer’s Market. Hz finds farmer’s markets pleasant because she takes a little vacation from her acerbic, punk rock personality, and pretends she’s a gay man who lives in the Hamptons and owns a little garden shop, and whose “better half” works as an interior designer in the city.
Gay for the day!
On our way out, we noticed this sign that told what all the cuts of beef are.
This is where hot dogs come from.
Lessons:
1. Make sure you don’t go to the Midtown Market if you’re trying to find the Midtown Farmer’s Market.
2. If you’re a famous person, you’ll find that people who aren’t usually nice will be nice to you for no reason.
3. Yeast isn’t just for science experiments in your vagina. It’s also totally yummy, and good for you! Try it on a hot dog!
4. It would be fun to be a rich gay man who lives in the Hamptons.
5. Hot dogs are “other” meat.
FOOTNOTES
1. The logic being: one indicator of fame is uncharacteristic kindness. It made sense to us. go back
2. Ez, Hz and The Impossibly Handsome Al Weiers had fun looking at all of the stickers. Ez and Hz have a crush on Mick Jagger, and there was a REALLY good sticker of him in there. We didn’t take a picture of it! Rats! go back
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