Ez gets a porno mag in the mail

For the past couple of weeks Ez has been getting multi reminders that she’s lucky in life, and since the beginning of June the evidence has been staggering.  We list for you now the month’s early elements of awesomeness:

  1. Dnz called and left this message “Ez, I got an extra ticket to Jenny Lewis on Wednesday. Joe loves her, so I got tickets for his birthday, but now he has to work. Do you want to go? I don’t know if you even like Jenny Lewis. I don’t.”
  2. Ez received lab results by mail from her recent visit to a MD specializing in humans and their health. She learned that her good cholesterol is high and her bad cholesterol is very low. This is tres fortunate and must be due to her Swedishness, because we all know how she eats.
  3. In the same mail batch she received her June cooking mag script that our darling Kt perscribed for her last birthday. The covergirl for this issue is BBQ ribs! And the centerfold….hold up, all wankers, let’s let this last.
oh, you pretty things

oh, you pretty things

This is an obvs sign that Ez should eat BBQ everyday. So she carefully followed the magazine’s directions and invited Hz, Dnz and Kt over for some ribs offa George Forman’s grill.

it looks exactly the same

it looks exactly the same

Kt can’t make it because she’s still out of town, but Hz and Dnz showed up and were ubz impressed. This Cambodian version of BBQ ribs is sincerely swell with a side sauce that everyone mixed up herself.

Turns out Hz and Dnz also enjoy a favorable lipid profile despite their impressive htdg experience. We celebrate!

Dnz

Dnz

gets

gets

down

down

Hz is pure instinct and mixed her sauce perfectly without a recipe. Even though she totally knows what she’s doing and does not need a manual, Hz paged through the mag a little anyway and HELLO, SAILOR…..

what's your name?

what's your name?

Have mercy, already! Ours is a beautiful world.

my blood runs cold!

my blood runs cold!

So clearly, all’s awes and Hz even brought a gourmet desert made with dark chocolate.

comere cup!

c'mere cup!

Exceptional luck, right?

Ez, pleased and proud

Ez, pleased and proud

Maybe all that perfection was too much to bear, and maybe that’s what started to erode our happy party’s goodwill. Whatever the cause, Hz’ admiration of Jenny Lewis‘ fashions really started to vex Dnz! For a sec it seemed they might come to blows! Luckily, Hz dropped Ez and Dnz off at First Avenue without event.

Dnz and Ez talked about miniskirts and Dnz’ boyfriend Joe’s musical taste on the way to the bar for some cherry bombs.

and things got nicer

and things got nicer

and nicer

and nicer

to miniskirtz!

to miniskirtz!

Then The Sadies started playing and they were great! They played gunslinger-style music and two of ’em are brothers and their last name is Good. One brother seemed to be wearing a Caucasian-flesh-tone suit with sequined figures (sperm or mushroom?) up the lapels.

one of the Good brothers

one of the Good brothers

And they played a song of the God-loving, hard-living Louvin Brothers, but not this one:

And they did this incredibly awesome and gay move where each brother frets the other’s guitar. Sad city, we didn’t get a photo, but please believe! And they put records out on that Bloodshot label that induces pants-wetting in certain circles. It was so fun!

And then Jenny Lewis played!

dnznothappy

Hooray, Hooray.

Lessons:

  1. Cambodian ribs are great! Eat them every day if you have low cholesterol!
  2. Always check your magazines for centerfolds, but please do it in private, and wash your hands afterwards.
  3. Yay, Louvin Brothers! Also, The Brothers Good = CUTE CENTRAL!
  4. Boys say they like Jenny Lewis’ music and Rilo Kiley because she’s hot.
  5. Girls say that Jenny Lewis is stupid because they’re jealous of her hotness.
  6. Jenny Lewis‘ music really is stupid, regardless of her hotness.
  7. The jury is still out on whether Jenny Lewis‘ outfits are good or bad.
We want mad hits too. Fan us on Facebook!

Jenny Lewis can suck it. Fan us on Facebook!

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June 4, 2009. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Dnz, Drunkenness, Fashions, Hot Dog Dining, Kt, Music and Shows.

5 Comments

  1. Dnz replied:

    I am looking forward to the hot dog banquet and pie social that needs to happen soon. Save those recipes for gourmet dogs. Cherry bombs all around. And my new jenny lewis cd.

  2. kimmy replied:

    will p8nt porch 4 ribs

  3. Molly replied:

    Hey Ez, those are some fancy plates.

  4. Must Love Hot Dogs « Hot Dog Blog replied:

    […] with the practice, too, ’cause you’ve got to buy hot dogs, and pitchers of beer, and Cherry Bombs, and Twins Homo-pener tickets, and bus fare, and tetanus shots. So, Hz thought she had it made when […]

  5. bartscarts replied:

    why is your hilarious writing no longer being posted? Please write again.

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