Lately it’s become clear that Ez has been leaning too heavily on her colleague to research and publish: Major responsibilities for any scientific endeavor. Course, Hz remains as cheerful and supportive as always, but after Hz ate alone, Ez really took a hard look and realized she had been eating without documenting and simply was not the medium-functioning what-have-you of prouder days. She began to search for the cause. Please accept the following, perhaps sketch, account as one explanation, though no excuse.
Oh Her God! It was time again for Rock the Garden and Ez had very few fragmented and fond memories of the event from the summer before. This year Solid Gold was playing and the MDz have made their love embarrassingly plain in past posts
and unanswered emails. But because Hz loves her family, she couldn’t attend this year- went to some kinda wedding or something instead and Ez had to mix that sorrow with her spazzing excitement. Ez did have the awesomest street force, so things were shaping up fine. Kt, Nz, Lz and newest recruit to the force, Kathryn showed up at Ez’ and out they went.
We Know! And there were attractives EVERYWHERE!
And you guessed it, HTDGZ! And guess what else, SO MUCH BEER!
There were no standard htdgz in this garden, but there was no intimidating this street force!
Like we said, Kathryn was new and she offered a fresh perspective: the crndg!
We ate and drank a little. Everything made sense for a good long while, but from Solid Gold to The Decemberists, things can get blurry, people can become confused.
When things get funny like that, you keep on- it’s not that deep, you just get that crndg! Ez did get that mammoth crndg and with profesh zeal she endeavored to capture this magnificent specimen for the blg.
See how this Rock the Garden dog was so huge? Ez couldn’t get the whole thing in the shot!
But then Ez wanted to be in the picture with the bgcrndg!
And then it seemed genius to get some shots of the crndg with Ez AND Kt. Ez insisted! And Kt was super sport!
Meanwhile…Kt was hearing the comments of some boys standing near. Seems these boys saw something beyond foodstuff in that long crndg. The reader may assume by now that Ez was hearing nothing.
Since something was obvs up with Kt and we just could not get a pleasing shot, Ez asked Nz to step in!
The camera loves Nz!
Not a sec too soon, the Decemberists broke through Ez’ haze with a supreme Heart cover and she eased off the photo shoot tyranny. Geeze, it was good! And man, it was finally summer! And wow, we’d been in that big art-beer garden a long time! So, when a stranger approached our party and offered to take us through a “port hole” to a hidden and beautiful portion of our city, we said yes, please show us this port hole!
It really was uncommon on the other side! It was loud and bright with dark corners, plush benches, sparkles, potions and powders! There were very large drinking glasses and very tiny spoons. There were eighteen-year-old smiley boys on bikes wearing dress shoes and exchanging meaningful looking hand signals. Goodness, they were friendly!
But maybe we stayed too long…
And this is where the memories end. Ez knows that since that momentous night she has been shirking her duties. Until now she’d been unable to describe the world beyond that p-hole, even. Was something shook loose? Maybe. Is she back to normal? Maybe. Will she try harder? Maybe.
When Hz saw the flyer for the Are You Local? SXSW Sendoff at First Avenue, she was only slightly stoked at first. There were some pretty rad bands playing, but usually the HtDg MDz don’t go into downtown on the weekends, because that’s when the superlame D-bgz go there, and if there’s one thing a HtDg Doctor doesn’t like, it is THAT (except sometimes Ez does like that- noshedoesn’tyesshedoesnoshedosen’t). Right before Hz stopped caring about the flyer, she noticed that down at the bottom was a tiny hotdog! Totally dope! Then she really cared, like a LOT! And called Ez right away!
So the Doctors rounded up a Street Force, including Dnz and Paul D. Ez and Dnz went down there right away, because they were super starving. The scene was SET! There were tons of people so they thought it best to scope the hot dog operation- and quick. They walked right in and followed the signs.
Well, you don’t get to be doctor without learning to tell when stuff’s sinking south and this was getting critical! Every time they got in line for a delicious hot dog, they would run out before they got one and then the chef would have to go make some more! Every time it was like, come back in 5 minutes, come back in 5 minutes. Como se dice Broken Record?!!
This was totally weak. But finally, during one of the dog runs, Dnz scored a dog. A natural Hotdog Force, Dnz saw them unload a batch and she moved it up there, Pronto! It took forever, but it was delicious, she said, and we believe her like whoa.
Ez saw the writing on the wall: If Hz didn’t hurry up and get to First Avenue, there would be NO DOGS LEFT! So she sent an SOS for Hz to GET OVER HERE NOW!
But Hz was doing the very best she could! She thought that she would park in a parking ramp and pay on the way out, but HOLY CRAP! It was event parking, and she had to pay on the way IN! And guess who didn’t have ten dollars? HZ DIDN’T! So then she had to drive all the way to Sex World to go to the cash machine, so she was super late, and in super trouble!
When Hz finally arrived, the Hot Dog Street Force rolled downstairs to try for dogs one more time. But they were like, OH MY GOD, OH NO! Because the sign said no dogs!!!
This was a hard reality- a real tough hit. Dnz was the only one to get some that night. Ez kept digging for details, just kept on asking. What was it like? Was it good? Dnz didn’t talk too much on the matter, but said it was fresh. That was almost enough for Ez.
Paul D and Hz were starving so bad though. So even though they would have done some pretty uncool things to score a dog, it wouldn’t have even mattered because there weren’t any there anyhow. So they just got pizza instead. It was pretty good, but there’s nothing like a dog, as I’m sure you will agree.
Too late for hot dogs and too late to see First Communion Afterparty, we made ourselves feel better by drinking majorly huge beers and listening to music. The Doctors both agreed that the best band of our night was Solid Gold, for several reasons:
- Totally cute!
- Sweet outfits
- Good music
Here is a video, so you can hear how totally premium they are.
But wait! We forgot something! Before Solid Gold started, one of the guys in the band was walking around, and Ez noticed that he was wearing skinny black jeans with white shoes, which we thought was a totally excellent combination. Then we were doing some shopping at the Solid Gold merch table, and we saw this, which was a hilarious joke, but also a tragic waste of dog:
And also, we handed out some business cards that night, to maximize exposure on the street! Awesome times ten!
Our lessons for tonight are these:
- If you want to be a hot dog doctor, you must always be ready for a dog any time, ALL the time. And usually parking ramps and hot dog places will not take credit cards. So Hz will always roll with some flow from now on.
- Wear skinny black jeans with white shoes.