Hz and Ez eat Htdz.
Our first mission as the Hot Dog Doctors was so totally auspicious!
We were going to go to the Gopher Bar in Saint Paul, and we had to drive around a little bit, but then we found it and pulled the car over to the curb and Hz opened the door and there, frozen in the snowbank, was a LUCKY PENNY. And it was heads up, yo. We still have it and are going to frame it as our first income.
But sadly, the Gopher Bar was closed, and we’re not sure why. There were no hours posted, but it said on a sign that there were hot dogs in there DAILY. This is very worrying. We’ve checked online, and it seems like it’s still open for business, but this doesn’t seem like the kind of establishment that would maintain a very fastidious online presence, so who knows?
So after a serious freak out, we put our heads together and set out for another hot dog joint on our list: Chris and Rob’s in Saint Paul on West 7th.
Chris & Rob’s: Chicago’s Taste Authority
So: this place was totally cute. It’s made out of a railroad car! We died.
We ordered one Chicago-style apiece, and then Ez also got a Spicy Polish and Hz got a Chili dog, and we split some cheese fries and we both got beers too. Hz got Summit, and Ez got beer that was described as “like Summit, only from Chicago.” (or it might have been from Canada. We don’t remember. They’re almost the same anyway.)
One of the first things we discussed was how we know two people who have t-shirts that say, “Doctor Hot Dog” on it. We, as self-proclaimed hot dog doctors, find this totally premium. Our friend Deanna has one, and Dirty Preston has one. These t-shirts make us swoon with desire.
If we find these Doctor Hot Dog t-shirts, we’re going to buy them for sure.
So that’s when the other totally auspicious thing happened: The song “I’m Burning for You” by Blue Öyster Cult came on the radio!
Now, the story behind our love for this song is that at the apex of our Valentine’s Day this year — and let me tell you that the hours leading up to this were chock-full of excitement and splendor, too — we were on a houseboat with our best friends Lz, Nz, Jz, Paul D and Johnnycakes, getting hammered on some absurdly alcoholic Icelandic booze, eating cookie cake, and playing “Burnin’ for You” over and over about 100 times, sometimes substituting all the lyrics with one of our names for the entire song. Eventually, we got in trouble with the neighbors, but it was incredibly fun. So hearing this song during our first mission felt like a very good omen.
Then the food came.
So then Hz told Ez about how she and Johnnycakes got locked into the stairwell of her house this weekend and Our Hero Troy had to come rescue them at 1 am: see, Hz grabbed the wrong set of keys on her way out, and pulled the door to her apartment shut and locked, but the door between the entryway and the outside needs a key, too. So Hz and Johnnycakes were stuck in the entryway of her house. Luckily there is an extra set of keys hidden in at Our Hero Troy’s house, so Hz called him. He was at First Avenue dancing with his hot girlfriend, but was happy to take a taxi from there to home, and from home to Hz’ home, and from Hz’ home back to First Avenue to spring them out.
This evoked fond memories about other times Our Hero Troy was a major hero. Like when we got hammered at his house, then he let us all sleep over, then he made us breakfast, then he gave Rupert a pair of sunglasses, then he rode bikes with everyone to make sure they got home okay. He’s a great guy to the max.
Then we started eating the sport peppers whole.
Talk then turned to Daylight Savings Time. Ez told Hz how when she was a waitress for ten years she was late for work every day (every single day!) except for once a year she would accidentally turn up a half-hour early for her shift when she forgot to set her clock back at the end of Daylight Savings time in the fall. When she’d arrive, one of the cooks would always say, “Even a dog gets lucky once a year!” Totally ouch.
The whole time we were eating, Hz was blowing up on facebook. She has a sweet FB application on her phone, so she knows when she’s blowing up the second it happens, and it was happening a lot during the Chris and Rob’s mission. Hz’ friend Ali, who works for the Current, was particularly supportive and hilarious in regards to a pre-launch facebook announcement about the Hot Dog Blog, so Ez and Hz joked about scoring a Current sponsorship, which could possibly entail plastic signage that they could tape to the wall by their table during future missions.
They started to close up when we were leaving, which made us feel sort of badass.
Hot Dog Round Up: Chris & Rob’s in Saint Paul
Ez liked the Polish with everything on it better than the Chicago style, but said that they were both super good.
Hz liked the Chicago style slightly better than the Chili dog, but it was verrry close. The chili even had beans in it, and usually it doesn’t when it’s chili used on hot dogs, right?
Cheese fries: total yum. The cheese wasn’t the shredded and melted kind, but rather the kind that comes in a bag.
Atmosphere: charming and railroad car-ey
Service: great. the dudes who were working asked us if everything was okay about 100 times, and it always was.
Overall score: like, a million
3101 E 42nd St
Minneapolis, MN 55406
7429 East River Rd
Fridley, MN 55432
603 West 7th Street
Saint Paul, MN 55402